This Random Nun Clip is from Ask Sister episode 143. Hear the full podcast at AS143.
Sister Julie
This Random Nun Clip is brought to you by A Nun's Life Ministry.
Sister Maxine
So we have our third question. It comes in from Beth in Australia. And she said, "I have spoken to some Sisters about spending six months in discernment with them. And they have said yes. But I still feel in love with a man and wonder if I can be authentic in my discernment, when I seem to have two conflicting truths."
Sister Julie
Beth, thank you so much for your question. And, you know, it can be uncomfortable, it can be sort of tough, it can be a complex place to be where you are. The first thing I want to say, though, is that it's really not uncommon when you're in discernment, to feel tugged in different directions. You know, it may be a relationship, as you've mentioned. It might be that there's another religious community in the picture, and so you feel torn between this community or that community. And it might be a career. You may be involved in your career and sort of have aspirations in that regard and feel torn between that and wanting to join religious life and not sure if you could do both. And so there can be a lot of those tuggings when you're in discernment.
Sister Maxine
But wouldn't it be nice if it was all nice and neat and clean? I mean, throughout our lives.
Sister Julie
Like your own vocation story, Sister?
Sister Maxine
[laughter] Yes!
Sister Julie
Sister Maxine was actually born with a habit and a cross and she was ready to go from the start. It was never a question.
Sister Maxine
Ever. Never a question. [laughter] No, and wouldn't it be nice to think that that's the way life can be sometimes. But, of course, any kind of discernment, whether it's religious life, or marriage, or parenting, whatever it is, generally, it can be kind of messy.
Sister Julie
I know discernment is sort of synonymous with "wading into it," whatever that may be. And it's gonna be a little bit messy. As Audra says, nice and clean would be boring. But it's true, nice and clean wouldn't be all that exciting. And when you're in discernment, you're thinking about how it is you want to live your life, how you feel called by God to be most fully yourself. And there should be a lot of goodness, a lot of adventure there
Sister Maxine
Probably some fear.
Sister Julie
There should be some fear. You know, there's gonna be like a little bit of mud there, there's gonna be some rough moments, there's going to be rain, some thunder, there's gonna be some sunshine, there's gonna be a lot of goodness there. When you're in discernment, you want to enter into there. It's like a chance to open up all the windows and just be in the fullness of it. And just because we can't hold things together, we're not sure how a relationship holds together, with discerning with this community holds together, with how we see our future, doesn't mean that it's not perfectly clear and embraceable by God.
Sister Maxine
So for us to be able to live in some of the tension that there can be when you have two -- as Beth says -- two conflicting truths, or we might look at it as two so to say, competing goods. You know, if one thing was undesirable, and one thing was desirable, it'd be easy.
Sister Julie
So we have these competing goods, these things that are equally compelling to us. Or we know we just may not be sure. We just may have like one thing for one reason and something for another reason.
Sister Maxine
And Julia said, "Well then, what do you do when you're having a hard time holding the tension and living into a decision?"
Sister Julie
You pull out that jar of chocolate syrup? That's what you do, Julia. [laughter]
Sister Maxine
Eat a whole thing of ice cream.
Sister Julie
That's right, and you're gonna be set.
Sister Maxine
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